Let me just RSVP...

I had a somewhat epiphanic thought the other day and you know what it was?

It's not until you're older that you realise the real value of a sincere RSVP.

Let's start with the basics. 

RSVP stands for the French phrase "répondez, s'il vous plaît" which means "please respond". "In the context of social invitations, RSVP is a process for a response from the invited person or people" - Wikipedia. 

It doesn't mean "only respond if you're coming", it doesn't mean "reply when you feel like it" and it certainly doesn't mean "no RSVP means you're not coming". 

Maybe it's because things are so much less formal these days or maybe I'm just getting old, but it's like so many people consider the act of an RSVP as just something trivial or unimportant, when in fact it should be a part of Lessons in Manners 101. As someone who's tried planning (and has successfully planned) a significant event or two (or ten), I'd just like to say that a simple (sincere) RSVP has started to mean more to me, than, let's say, someone who has obviously seen the invitation (and all its communications) and just continues to ignore it rather than communicate with the organiser. Like, seriously, WTF? Think about the person who is expecting your presence at this event. Think about them planning for your arrival and trying to make bookings and reservations all while trying to assume whether you're going to make it or not. 

We can't read your minds, kids. Here's how an invitation works. You usually receive them at times when, say, you've made such an impression on someone that they actually want to spend more time with you. You get invited to things when you're a big part of someone's life and you're invited to celebrate their milestones together. So. The least you can do - the polite thing to do is, and this might come as a surprise but, let them know. Even if you can't make it. Even if you're unsure. Let Them Know, for Chrissakes.

It's the simplest thing and its made even simpler by the best types of technologies these days. You can email, you can call, you can even text! And let me tell you, this makes a big difference to the person organising the event. It's a little more weight off their shoulders, something that can make planning easier. 

Don't get me wrong though. 99% of the people I know have manners and know the drill, but the other 1% just need a gentle reminder sometimes. That just because, for example, it's a virtual invitation, it doesn't give you leave to be rude. You should be just as courteous as if someone had invited you to their shindig face to face. 

Remember, RSVP means "répondez, s'il vous plaît" which means "please respond". It doesn't mean "respond only if you have a paper invitation," and it doesn't mean "only respond when you feel like it". The level of appreciation will go both ways! The organiser will appreciate you letting them know your RSVP and you will appreciate not being forgotten when the invites for the next event are sent out. Right?

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