The Gypsy Flower Girl: Age is Just a Number...

...That can't be changed!

So, I've been a bit neglectful I know. But I was aware, so there's a difference. If you know me in real life you'd know that it's been a hectic 30 days since my last post.

One of the reasons being another birthday. Yay!...Not.

I've certainly had my fair share of awesome birthdays and in the years past, I've been (mentally) giving myself a few pats on the back for each one I've celebrated without feeling that sense of impending doom that comes with...getting old. I hate to say it, but bearing witness to a fair few friends who's celebrations have become more and more low key as they cry and moan on the inside (and outside) about turning 25 (for the third time) has had me priding myself on continuing to be confused about why I haven't had that same urge yet.

I'm a late bloomer.

Always have been and always will be. Ask anyone!

And in this case I feel that the term better late than never (and/or any other cliche one-liners similar to this) can't, shouldn't, doesn't! apply, especially after finding out what that feeling of impending doom feels like.

What's that, you say? Twenty-something is still young? Of course it is! It always will be if you're older than me! But please, let me just sit in the corner for a few minutes and wallow in the fact that ohmigod, I'm almost fucking 30!!! (Hyperventilates just a little bit).

Coupled with the fact that it was my first birthday in a completely foreign country, with no family and less familiar faces than I've ever had in my life? Well, I'll leave the rest up to your empathetic imagination.

I did not want to celebrate, I actually really just wanted the day to go by like it was any other. Denial to the max, yes I know. By that time of the year, Steve and I had been in London for three and a half months (give or take a few days), and there's nothing like a good old-fashioned birthday to bring out that feeling of homesick you thought you'd never get. Especially when it comes with memories of the birthday you'd had the year before which consisted of numerous joint celebrations, several group dinners and an epic rave night, which had made it more of a birth month, actually.

Needless to say, I was feeling a little...not "down-in-the-dumps" per se, but certainly a little depressed and down on the...sidewalk, like, by a garbage bin or something. Or as down as you can be while reminding yourself that, hey-ho! You still live in London and Amsterdam's just over there like a boss!! Woooo! But, yeah, no, I was pretty down compared to the first few months.

As is living in the 21st century though, it's really hard to keep things on the down low, especially if you're a compulsive social media user like myself. Even without breathing a word of my day of birth to anyone (aside from my fiance - who, dude, if you don't know my birthday by now, we gon' have a talk!), it's only natural for Facebook to tell all my 500 (Facebook) friends that hey! "Today is Ella's Birthday! Write on her timeline!".

Thinking about it now, I would probably categorise it as a small blessing in disguise just because of the fact that it was during a time when I was feeling low(ish) and needed reminding of the good stuff. So, call it The Universe, God, Fate, whatever, but when you factor in the Sydney-London time difference, my birthday had already begun in Sydney while I was still wallowing in my little London corner in the Time-of-the-Day-Before. So I actually started receiving (very heartfelt and lovely) messages a day early, which did a really good job of picking me up in the hours leading up to my day of birth.

It's a small thing, I know, and it probably doesn't come across as awesome as it felt, because everyone was probably just greeting me because Facebook told them to, but, it cheered me up. And despite not planning anything in the days beforehand, I was continuously surprised and thankful for everyone that greeted me that day. I had a great dinner with Steve and one of my Aussie mates because, you can't not celebrate your birthday! (thanks again for coming out, Aevee!) and when I got home, my roomies reminded me of how awesome they are with cake and chocolate, (and sangria, but it was a work day so Cristina and Mircea had those, haha).

And, he would totally kill me if I ended this without mentioning him, but yes, being the perfect fiance that he is, Steve got me presents (even though I told him not to). He wouldn't be the best of the best if he didn't rush to write me a birthday post on Facebook one day early because I wanna beat everyone else! (even though Jana beat him, but still!) and then partying it up with me at Defqon a few weekends later.

All in all, I'd say it was a really good first birthday in London. I have always been an appreciator of the small things and when you're at that low point, the pick-me-ups are the best to be thankful for.

xoxo